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| Oh Look.... |
| It's 3:00 in the morning and as usual, have been up for a couple hours (went to bed at 11:00).... Since I work at home these days, I usually just roll over, get up, put in a few hours of work so I... It's 3:00 in the morning and as usual, have been up for a couple hours (went to bed at 11:00).... Since I work at home these days, I usually just roll over, get up, put in a few hours of work so I can either ride bike or go for a run later; _try_ and recover some of the damage I know I've done to my body over the past upmteen years! There is _Nothing_ in the house, I learned that lesson long ago, if there's anything in the house during these ealry morning periods, I'm screwed, blue'd and tattooed...
Peace,
..Mike
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| Need help. |
| Ok, so I've posted on here before. Multiple times actually.
I am now 6 days sober. I've had 2 years to drink, because of her, and until 6 months ago, I drank everyday. I have since stepped back... Ok, so I've posted on here before. Multiple times actually.
I am now 6 days sober. I've had 2 years to drink, because of her, and until 6 months ago, I drank everyday. I have since stepped back and taken a look at my life. I don't like it.
I like to consider myself a "good guy." I chatted with a guy that is currently dating my ex tonight. (my ex that drove me to drinking (I'd never drank before her) and the ex I still have a 3 ct. ring for.)
Either way, I tried to just have a cordial conversation with him. He's honestly not a bad dude. We had that cordial conversation, with me talking about my volunteerism. Needless to say, I thought I was making conversation, that would have given me the closure I've always needed. Negative.
I'm honestly "triggered" right now, and I kinda hate how I've lived my life the past few months. My alum school has a big game on Friday (WVU, if you couldn't guess).
I'm meeting at least 14 alums on Friday at a local Sports Bar, that I know very well. I kinda want to just meet up with them and go "balls to the wall." However, that's not what I'm going to do. Because, they are love interests (e.g. women that are amazing and I want to be the women of my child). They know my ex and they know how hard I've had it the last few months/years and they want to help.
Help?
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| It does not feel quite right |
| Hi there
This is all pretty new to me, English is not my first language as I am from South Africa, so patience please. At this point I have a feeling that all is not well, but I would really... Hi there
This is all pretty new to me, English is not my first language as I am from South Africa, so patience please. At this point I have a feeling that all is not well, but I would really appreciate your thoughts.
I am 38 years old, have been working at the same company for the past 20 years, part of top management and have never missed a day of work unless on leave or really, really ill, bronchitis, pneumonia that kind of thing. I have a lovely wife (married 14 years) and a clever, sporty 10 year old girl. Running is my other passion and I compete over distances ranging from 10km to 90km (6 miles to 56 miles) including the grueling Comrades Ultra Marathon one of the tougher races in the world, which I have completed on three occasions.
I had a pretty uneventful childhood, my dad was a heavy drinker and all my uncles on that side of the family have the same problem. I started drinking around the age of 17 mostly on weekends. The past 12 years or so I have been drinking 3 to 6 beers (340ml cans) every night while my wife and daughter are getting ready for bed or watching a movie. I would be playing a game on the pc downing some beers. Sometimes I will have 3, sometimes 6. I never get falling down drunk and I don't get abusive. I don't have a beer until everything is sorted for the day and we are ready to go to bed (around 7pm). I am not drinking more than I was 10 years ago, always between 3 and 6 and maybe 8 or 9 once a year. I don't have a problem stopping at 3 or 4 beers, but two is not enough.
However, I find a few things disturbing.
- I have to have a few beers every night.
- Getting home and there is no beer in the fridge is a scarey thought, when I come back from my early morning run I would check the fridge and make sure I have enough beer for the evening.
- Sometimes I can't remember whether I let the dog out the previous night, or what I did just before going to bed. I would check the bin to make sure how many beers I had the night before. Aaah only four, things are still okay.
- I find myself thinking about beer during the day, if I am having a bad one I would think 'Just hang in there, that beer tonight will be good'
- I have to be really ill, not to have a beer in the evening. I think in the last year (while healthy) I had two days without a beer. The evening after finishing Comrades (because I felt like crap) and last night.
- My nose is turning red (this is silly, but it really bugs me)
- I would sit at the dinner table at night with my wife and daughter chatting away, but I won't eat anything because that beer tastes so much better on an empty stomach. I would eat before going to bed.
- I have an obsessive / addictive personality, although I gave up smoking more than 10 years ago without any problems.
- I suffer from nocturnal panic attacks since I was a child, I would wake up at night and it would feel as if I am losing my mind. I alwasy thought the beer would help to prevent these attacks
- I drink alone as I am an introvert.
It's a strange situation as I don't drink during the day even at parties and other social events.
Going without beer yesterday evening was not much fun. I felt weak on my run this morning and I am moody and pretty depressed. The whole idea of giving up seems rediculous. The first thing my wife said when I told her I am giving up drinking was ' Are you crazy? There is nothing wrong with you' She does not drink and I am not sure she understands. I would like to believe all is well, but is it? Really?
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| US MI: Detroiters May Vote on Legal Marijuana, Proposal Heads for Ballot |
| Detroit Free Press, 06 May 2010 - Ballot Proposal in Detroit Turns Up Heat on Both Sides A Detroiter who helped lead the drive to allow medical marijuana in Michigan is pushing for something bound to be equally controversial: legalizing pot in the city of Detroit. |
| US CA: Effort to Free Bryan Epis Continues |
| The Chico News & Review, 06 May 2010 - EFFORT TO FREE BRYAN EPIS CONTINUES For a time Bryan Epis was a hero among medical-marijuana activists. Now he's more like a martyr to the cause. That's because, after an epic legal battle lasting since his arrest for marijuana cultivation nearly 13 years ago, in June 1997, the Chico man is now back in prison, ordered in February to serve out his original 10-year sentence. More precisely, he's in the Sacramento County Jail, waiting transfer to a state prison. |
| US DC: D.C. Council Approves Medical Marijuana |
| Washington Post, 05 May 2010 - For doctors such as Pradeep Chopra, long accustomed to prescribing carefully tested medications by the exact milligram, medical marijuana presents a particular conundrum. On Tuesday, the D.C. Council gave final approval to a bill establishing a legal medical marijuana program. If Congress signs off, District doctors -- like their counterparts in 14 states, including Rhode Island, where Chopra works -- will be allowed to add pot to the therapies they can recommend to certain patients, who will then eat it, smoke it or vaporize it until they decide they are, well, high enough. |
| US CA: Column: Legalizing Pot Will Help Save Patients, California's Economy |
| Santa Monica Daily Press, 05 May 2010 - From week to week, there are five basic topics that a columnist covers. In ascending order of importance they are sports, pop culture and the arts, local politics, national politics, and predictions. Depending on the reader, there is some debate about whether local or national politics is number two, but there is no question that the most important skill any good columnist possesses is the ability to accurately forecast the future. Naturally, my 14-months-before-anyone-else 2007 Official Groundbreaking Prediction that Barack Obama would be elected the 44th president of the United States followed by my alone-among-my-peers 2008 Official Groundbreaking Prediction that the Obama inauguration would be the "cultural, social, and political event of a generation; like Woodstock meets the March on Washington" cemented my status as America's smartest columnist. |
| US CA: City Gives Notice to Pot Stores |
| Los Angeles Times, 05 May 2010 - L.A. Sends Letters to 439 Dispensaries Giving Operators Until June 7 to Shut Down Los Angeles city prosecutors began notifying 439 medical marijuana dispensaries Tuesday that they must shut down by June 7, when the city's ordinance to regulate the stores takes effect. It's the first step in what could be a lengthy and expensive legal battle to regain control over pot sales. |
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